Rex and I convened recently and came to the conclusion that we have absolutely no freaking idea of what this is supposed to mean. I'm sure there are people out there (and Rex and I do invite comments but - disclaimer: can't guarantee that we won't completely ridicule you if you say something extraordinarily stupid) who can explain this to us, but we do feel that, despite the song having an enigmatic quality, it does have a rocking good beat and a sound that epitomises the decade which we now, affectionately refer to as "the 80's"
The twenty year cycle is finally coming around, folks, and it's about time. In fact, by our reckoning, it has become more of a twenty-five to thirty year cycle. For some, inexplicable reason, the 1970's rebirth held out far longer that it should have. Those of us who lived during the 70's recognize the decade for what it truely was: a tasteless, vulgar era in which the world went colorblind (I mean, literally colorblind - orange shag carpet! Oh, give me a break!).
But the 80's, even though it has been coined a "nothing" decade, showed some elements of style that we really should look back on with some nostalgia. For a start computers really began to break through into the masses in the 80s. The early Apples appeared in the late 70s, but geekhood took hold in the 80s and began to define a generation. The "coolness" of technology appeared in the 80s and we sang about it with such hits as Thomas Dolbey's "Blinded Me with Science" and Huey Lewis and the News singing about how it was "Hip to be Square."
And what ever happened to music videos? Rex and I were talking and decided that we missed those days when, after a heavy night on the turps one would go back to whichever house was convenient, crash on the couch and turn on the "all-night video hits channel of your choice (or regional locale)" or as Billy Joel put it "wake up in the morning with your head on fire and your eyes too bloody to see" and turn on the aforementioned video channel whilst waiting for the caffine and asprin to kick in.
But now those days are a fond memory. Artists still create music videos, but there aren't any music video stations available from Rex's or my cable provider. Even the iconic MTV has become "Music TeleVision" in name only. Now, to see the latest music videos you have to YouTube it (and there's that annoying mixed-case creeping into common parlance, again [see former post]) and that actually takes some effort and thought which entirely defeats the purpose of the music channel which had made such an impressive (and, we assume, lucrative) existence from catering to brain injured hangover cases.
And, let's face it, the music of the 80s was so bad it was good. Not "bad it was good" sense in the way that modern young generations feel that the 70s was "so bad it was good" - for those young afficianados, you really need to know that the 70s was so bad that once it was over the whole world breathed a sigh of relief. When the Monitors sang "What will we be singing in the 80s" they weren't, as they proclaimed, sad that disco died, but had realized that if the style of the decade continued on the downward spiral that was apparent from the 70s then one might as well put a bullet through one's head as life would surely get worse.
In many ways it did - there was the Black Monday crash, Ronald Reagan and the Challenger disaster (which helped to put an end to our space conquest ambitions), but on the other hand, the 70s had orange shag carpet, the pet rock, Richard Nixon, the Opec oil crisis, airline terrorism, the birth of AIDS, Saturday Night Fever and more orange shag carpet (with matching macrame curtains).
And this isn't to say that the 70s were completely awful. For example there was .... there was .... there was .... Star Wars. Yeah, that was cool, but, then again, it was really only a harbinger to the technological boom that would be a hallmark of the 80s. And there was fondue. We all love fondue. And, to be fair, there was some good music. Paisley patterns were nice - Rex still tries to find good paisleys - but then they had to go and fuck it up with the concept of the "body shirt." Rex and I have seen those "What Not To Wear" people say this: that those guys who wear nice, loose, comfortable shirts should have a shirt that 'fits well' (meaning: hugs you like an octopus with a hard-on to the point that you feel your nipples rise, not out of arousement, but just to get some freaking oxygen).
But I digress. As for the 80s, we had the Rubik's Cube (compare that to your stupid rock in a box on hay), the Cold War ended, technology boomed and music took a new bent to the weird. Now, because of this technology, music could do newer and stupider things and, while Rex and I generally frown on stupidity, in the music industry it is positively a boon! And now the 80s is old enough and square enough that it's becoming cool again. Reruns of "Home Improvement" and "Cheers" abound (but then again, they've actually never been taken off the air - can we say that about "WKRP in Cincinnati"?) I was so proud when my daughter got a pair of legwarmers and recently Rex discovered the 80s Music Videos site.
So, welcome back the 80s - it's hip to be square...again. And remember, whether you're a child of the 60s or the 70s or the 80s or the 90s (or the naughties) ...
