Rex and I, amongst many others, watched the inauguration. When the oath was complete we cracked a bottle of cheap, pink champagne (Rex's favourite) and toasted that Mr Bush could no longer do any damage. And while we celebrated we also acknowledged that, without hesitation, Mr Obama began to put the wheels in motion to undo all of the damage that Mr Bush, in his most inept idiom, had done to the planet over the last eight years.
Naturally, as any celebration dictates, participants began to dissipate. Eventually there was just Rex and I. But the music flowed and the muse continued and beverage was consumed. When there was simply one, there was no change. Music, dialogue, beverage. There was still a party.
Party is a state of mind. If there is sufficient cause for celebration (like, for example, having an incompetent world leader, such as King Louis XVI of France or Czar Nicholas II of Russia or Idi Amin of Uganda or George W. Bush, removed from power) then is there really a limit to the number of participants for the event to be classified a "party"?
Just you and the statue. Drink and dance and sing and converse. It's an event worthy of celebration. Party on. Party is a state of mind.
Recently Rex has been affected by music - it has shown its place as an integral part of his psyche. At the same time, he has been condemning the musical selections of his business partner as "suicide music" - or, as his mother once put it "music to cut one's throat to."
Which has inspired Rex to consider what would be his top choices for his final music to listen to, after slashing his wrists? What tunes would be his dying mantra as the life flowed from his veins?
Please note: Rex the Strange does not advocate suicide and takes no responsibility for any actions taken by anyone reading this post! If you are reading this for suggestions of what music to listen to while ending your own life then Rex the Strange strongly urges you to reconsider and to immediately contact anyone and talk before contemplating such a permanent solution, including (but not limited to) any friends, relatives, casual acquaintances or, if such people are not available, please go immediately to the nearest public service facility such as a hospital, police station or even the local fire station. Talk to someone NOW!
Sideline note: Rex is reminded of what he said to his sister, Rexina, when she once spoke of ending her life "Life may be bad today, but think about what you will miss if it gets better tomorrow."
...unless you're a lawyer or politician, in which case, yeah, go ahead, blow your brains out (disclaimer: please don't - especially anywhere near Rex's imported Persian rugs).
Anyway, on with the "off yourself" tunes. Some of these may surprise you, but Rex has good reasons for all of them. Remember, these are for the full enjoyment of the suicide experience (hopefully for enjoyment to the extent that one would reconsider the final act and, possibly, get to hospital as soon as humanly possible). If you just want something to be playing in the background while you do the .45 lobotomy with no hope of redemption then, in Rex's opinion, simply break out the Josh Groban. If the police show up to find a suicide victim and Groban is droning on in the background then motive would, no doubt, be an indecipherable enigma of cause and effect.
But I digress. Here's the top 10, from Rex's personal favorites collections, to be played in order of fading mortality:
#10: Veronica by Elvis Costello - Why? because it's a sad song and for affirmation of the reason behind The Who's assertion "I hope I die before I get old"
#9: Where Do I Go? by Galt McDermott ("Hair" Soundtrack) - Why? This song sings the anthem of the lost way that leads one to such a tragic act.
#8: Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney - Why? Oh, please. Do I really have to explain this one? (probably best played during the adrenaline rush that's caused from excessive blood loss - with any luck it'll make you get off your bleeding ass and call an ambulance - for the ambulance ride, Rex personally recommends "Black Bugs" by Regurgitator)
#7: Black Bugs by Regurgitator - Why? Well, what is at the end? This tune has dual purpose for the impending end or the ambulance ride.
#6: And She Was by Talking Heads - Why? Perhaps Rex has the interpretation wrong, but he's always seen this as being about suicide (David, if Rex is wrong then please feel free to email him personally and let him know). Don't you think that the lines "she's making sure she is not dreaming," "moving into the Universe", "and she was glad about it, no doubt about it, she isn't sure about what she's done, no time to think about what to tell them, no time to think about what she's done" and, of course, "and she was" are a bit of a giveaway?
(subject to correction, Dave, just come around to Rex's place and autograph his copy of "Stop Making Sense" and I'll print a retraction).
#5 New Slang by The Shins - Why? Well, because by now you've lost a lot of blood and (if you haven't had the sense or decency to do it in the traditional Roman style - in a warm bath) you're starting to get pretty cold. So something with a spritely acoustic step might be just the thing to keep you going for those final few moments. Plus, if you're from an early Generation X generation then this sound may ring semblance of some of those fun, yet goofy sounds your Mom played in your childhood. Something nice to remember Mom by before eternal sleep.
#4 Ship of Fools by World Party & Anthony Thistlethwaite - Why? Getting close to last chance buddy! You will pay tomorrow (even though you may not be around to see it). Traditionally this has been a song that Rex plays when he goes crazy drinking until 3 am. But this is totally apt for a last music scenario.
#3 Woke Up This Morning by Vinnie Pauleone & The Ba Da Bing Orchestra - Why? Getting close to the point of no return - stir it up - don't be a loser - get yourself a gun (or a phone to call help!)
#2 Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes - Why? Because it's a fuckin' cool song! It's in the top 10 of what Rex and I would like to hear just before we die.
And the top song to do the self-snuff to:
#1 The End by The Beatles - Needs no explanation. If you'd ever listened to the words (all fifteen of them) then you wouldn't have gone down this road in the first place!
And there it is. If you have a suggestion then please leave a comment and tell us why. But remember, this if for fun. A much better idea comes from the most unlikely of musical sources: The Bee Gees:
Rex and I convened recently and came to the conclusion that we have absolutely no freaking idea of what this is supposed to mean. I'm sure there are people out there (and Rex and I do invite comments but - disclaimer: can't guarantee that we won't completely ridicule you if you say something extraordinarily stupid) who can explain this to us, but we do feel that, despite the song having an enigmatic quality, it does have a rocking good beat and a sound that epitomises the decade which we now, affectionately refer to as "the 80's"
The twenty year cycle is finally coming around, folks, and it's about time. In fact, by our reckoning, it has become more of a twenty-five to thirty year cycle. For some, inexplicable reason, the 1970's rebirth held out far longer that it should have. Those of us who lived during the 70's recognize the decade for what it truely was: a tasteless, vulgar era in which the world went colorblind (I mean, literally colorblind - orange shag carpet! Oh, give me a break!).
But the 80's, even though it has been coined a "nothing" decade, showed some elements of style that we really should look back on with some nostalgia. For a start computers really began to break through into the masses in the 80s. The early Apples appeared in the late 70s, but geekhood took hold in the 80s and began to define a generation. The "coolness" of technology appeared in the 80s and we sang about it with such hits as Thomas Dolbey's "Blinded Me with Science" and Huey Lewis and the News singing about how it was "Hip to be Square."
And what ever happened to music videos? Rex and I were talking and decided that we missed those days when, after a heavy night on the turps one would go back to whichever house was convenient, crash on the couch and turn on the "all-night video hits channel of your choice (or regional locale)" or as Billy Joel put it "wake up in the morning with your head on fire and your eyes too bloody to see" and turn on the aforementioned video channel whilst waiting for the caffine and asprin to kick in.
But now those days are a fond memory. Artists still create music videos, but there aren't any music video stations available from Rex's or my cable provider. Even the iconic MTV has become "Music TeleVision" in name only. Now, to see the latest music videos you have to YouTube it (and there's that annoying mixed-case creeping into common parlance, again [see former post]) and that actually takes some effort and thought which entirely defeats the purpose of the music channel which had made such an impressive (and, we assume, lucrative) existence from catering to brain injured hangover cases.
And, let's face it, the music of the 80s was so bad it was good. Not "bad it was good" sense in the way that modern young generations feel that the 70s was "so bad it was good" - for those young afficianados, you really need to know that the 70s was so bad that once it was over the whole world breathed a sigh of relief. When the Monitors sang "What will we be singing in the 80s" they weren't, as they proclaimed, sad that disco died, but had realized that if the style of the decade continued on the downward spiral that was apparent from the 70s then one might as well put a bullet through one's head as life would surely get worse.
In many ways it did - there was the Black Monday crash, Ronald Reagan and the Challenger disaster (which helped to put an end to our space conquest ambitions), but on the other hand, the 70s had orange shag carpet, the pet rock, Richard Nixon, the Opec oil crisis, airline terrorism, the birth of AIDS, Saturday Night Fever and more orange shag carpet (with matching macrame curtains).
And this isn't to say that the 70s were completely awful. For example there was .... there was .... there was .... Star Wars. Yeah, that was cool, but, then again, it was really only a harbinger to the technological boom that would be a hallmark of the 80s. And there was fondue. We all love fondue. And, to be fair, there was some good music. Paisley patterns were nice - Rex still tries to find good paisleys - but then they had to go and fuck it up with the concept of the "body shirt." Rex and I have seen those "What Not To Wear" people say this: that those guys who wear nice, loose, comfortable shirts should have a shirt that 'fits well' (meaning: hugs you like an octopus with a hard-on to the point that you feel your nipples rise, not out of arousement, but just to get some freaking oxygen).
But I digress. As for the 80s, we had the Rubik's Cube (compare that to your stupid rock in a box on hay), the Cold War ended, technology boomed and music took a new bent to the weird. Now, because of this technology, music could do newer and stupider things and, while Rex and I generally frown on stupidity, in the music industry it is positively a boon! And now the 80s is old enough and square enough that it's becoming cool again. Reruns of "Home Improvement" and "Cheers" abound (but then again, they've actually never been taken off the air - can we say that about "WKRP in Cincinnati"?) I was so proud when my daughter got a pair of legwarmers and recently Rex discovered the 80s Music Videos site.
So, welcome back the 80s - it's hip to be square...again. And remember, whether you're a child of the 60s or the 70s or the 80s or the 90s (or the naughties) ...
